The Snapshots in my Mind...

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV I haven't written in my blog for some time, so I decided it was time to do it again. I've had a challenging life--one where everything that could go wrong seems to have done just that. Much has plagued me lately--thoughts of all the bad choices I made along the way, thoughts of all the pain & loss in my life, things I wish I could go back & do differently--but I know that isn't possible. So, I have to accept what is in the past & live each day expecting GOD to do something great for, with or through me. Thankfully, I know that this is just a time of testing & if I remain faithful, GOD will honor my faithfulness and reward me accordingly. Still, it is as if I go through a mental photo album of my life. I have memories of my youth, which was mostly happy until I reached my teen years & began doing some seriously stupid things and making a multitude of bad choices. I have memories of my parents & grandparents, aunts & uncles, siblings, cousins, nephews & nieces, and especially of my own children as they grew up. Then of course, there's the various jobs I've held and the different homes I've lived in along the way. There are memories & regrets of a miserable failure of a marriage & memories of a wonderfully loving wife that I lost prematurely to death. There are memories of trips I've taken, places & things I've seen, people I've met along the way, experiences--both good & bad. Do I have hopes & dreams still? Yes, without a doubt! I don't profess to see into the future in any way, so that leaves me wondering at times as to what the future holds in store. I am very much a planner by nature & that trait challenges my faith at times. While I trust GOD and know that He will take care of me, that He will open and/or close doors along the way, that He will not allow anything to touch my life that is not first filtered through His hands--it is still a struggle to recite The Serenity Prayer and accept the things I cannot change and find the courage to change the things I can. Yes, along the path of my life I have attended many an AA meeting because of my past alcohol problems. Growing up, my dad always told me that hard-headed people learn things the hard-headed way. I sure worked hard to prove that because the only way I seemed to learn was by messing up & falling flat on my face. Sadly, I knew at an early age that GOD had a plan, a purpose and a calling on my life--but I refused to surrender to His way. Had I only done things His way from the start, my life would have turned out so much differently. However (and thankfully!), GOD allows detours and U-turns on the road of life and somehow, He has used even my worst failures to bring glory to Him, to shape & mold me and as a means to minister to others. He is just good like that! So, I choose to look forward instead of backward, I choose to praise rather than complain, and I choose to be used by GOD in any & all possible ways. How about you? Blessings! Tony